Your Goal – To Look Like Jared from Subway – Really!

Your Goal ~ To Look Like Jared from Subway ~ Really!

In his “From Across the Street” routine the great Doug Stanhope accuses Americans of having such low expectations of themselves that their goal is to look like Jared from Subway!

Stanhope continues that 50 years ago America had role models like Jack Lalanne who would swim up the Hudson River towing a row boat with his teeth, and now we have a guy who’s kinda fat, not as fat as he could be but you wouldn’t have sex with him if he were naked and the lights were on!

Jack_LaLanne_and_friend        Jack Lalanne and Jared, I don’t know, the dog might have been called Jared!

I love Doug Stanhope.

As with much of his material this got me thinking. The first thought that came to mind was my aim when I was a teenager of being a hybrid which looked like Arnold Schwarzenegger, who in 1983/84 was still the main man in Bodybuilding despite having only competed once in 8 years, along with the strength of Bill Kazmaier or Jon Pall Sigmarsson.

Jon_Pall__KazNot Built Enough for Me!

I think you’ll agree that these 3 set high standards in physique and strength; I remember thinking that I wanted to be stronger than Arnold because he could only Bench 400, Squat 500, and Deadlift 600lbs! And having a physique like Kazmaier or Sigmarsson just wasn’t good enough!

Was I deluded? You bet I was, especially when you consider that I wanted all this without resorting to using steroids. But, as Vince Lombardi said “Perfection is not attainable, but if we chase perfection we can catch excellence.” Or in my case “Not Bad!”

After thinking of that delusional memory I moved onto thinking about who are todays role models, do the guys really want to look like Jared from Subway? And what look do women want to attain? I have to admit that I found the following blog post by the excellent Leigh Peele rather disturbing –


An interesting aside is that I love the muscular (naturally muscular or athletic) look on women, and none of my friends really go for the skinny look, except one guy who’s really skinny himself and easily intimidated. Maybe the rise of the desired skinny look amongst women is directly correlated to men becoming pussies! I don’t know, just an idea.

As regards male role models I remember when I was a teenager the big box office movie stars of the day were Arnold, Stallone, and even Dolph Lungren and Jean Claude Van Damme became big stars in their own right. Muscle was definitely in, and even though the gyms were still full of guys (a lot less women used gyms then) doing some really silly stuff it wasn’t quite as silly as today.

Back then there were many more 100kg Benches, and 140kg Squats going on than I see today. Why is that? Did people work harder back then? Well, yes I think they did, but why? Could it be that the aspiration of gym goers was higher then? If so then that could affect how hard one would train, so long as they believe that the overall goal is attainable.

So what on earth does this mean for you dear reader? Don’t have Jared as your role model, obviously. If your goal is “I want to look like Jared in 6 months”, then you might actually need to take some action with a month to go, come on, you can set your sights higher than that!

Set yourself a decent challenge, understand what you need to do (action) in order to achieve your goal and systematically go about achieving it.

My goal now I’m a mature 40 something? I want Donnie Thompson’s Squat, Ryan Kennelly’s Bench, and Bennie Magnusson’s Deadlift without drugs or gear, and I want to look like Ronnie Coleman circa 2001! Don’t bother to point out that Ronnie is black, that’s the least of my concerns.

Be Mighty,


P.S – If, as a result of reading this you go and search “Doug Stanhope” on YouTube please be advised that he is very X rated; if you’re not only easily offended, but able to be offended at all then you might want to give his work a miss. 

If, however it’s very hard to offend you then go for it. You can thank me by buying “Becoming Mighty”, my new book which will be available very soon. 

And if you’re easily offended then you can still buy my book!